In the introduction of their book, Anna Sophia and Elizabeth reveal four-step instructions on how to read this book.
1.
From Beginning to End
2.
With Your Parents
The sisters' desire is not to make this book a substitute for your parents' teaching, but to bring you and your parents' relationship closer especially in this area of your life.
3.
Like a Berean
Acts 17:11 tells of the noble Bereans who "were open-minded... and welcomed the message with eagerness and examined the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so."
4.
With a Tender Heart
"The biggest issue is not, in fact, 'how to be around boys' or even 'who to be around boys.' The issue that matters is: Who are we before God? Poor relationships with boys aren't your real problem if you have a non-existent relationship with God... He will purify your heart, guard your heart, and abide in your heart if you are truly His. The question you must ask yourself as you read on is:
Are you?" (pgs 5)
They answer the question "Why are we interested in boys?" And why it is a good thing (depending on how we, as eligible young ladies, respond to it).
One chapter takes you through a Relationship Boot Camp (Chapter 4, pgs 51-70) and shows how you can be a sister to your real brothers and in turn your Christian brothers.
They drill into you from the beginning that the bond between you and your parents should be the first and strongest relationship. Also, the sisters encourage, as does the Bible, a healthy relationship with your brother or brothers, both younger and/or older.
Believe it or not, your father and brothers have the responsibility to protect your heart, until, should God so will, that responsibility is passed to your husband. Sadly, in our time and age, that concept has been wholly forgotten and rejected.
"Ew. You want me to be
friends with my brother??
And my parents?! But he's so... ewww. And they just don't understand me."
One of the quotes that I came away with after reading this book can be found in the very first chapter:
"...Girls used to have a lot more protection and help through these problems than they do today. Fathers and brothers used to provide screening and kept scoundrels on the right end of a Remington." (Chap. 1, pgs 10)
If this were true, there would be a lesser number of broken hearts and perhaps and greater number of healthy marriages.
But, unfortunately, we live in a fallen world. Where fathers send their daughters to the wolves once they come of age and graduate high school, so to speak. Where "good" guys take advantage of good Christian girls and vice versa. Where purity is underrated and the culture screams at us to keep the status quo. Where the family is beaten to submission by the government and executed at the altar of the Church.
Ouch.
Harsh words, but oh, so true.
I could go on and on as to how this nation was built on the
Christian faith. How our forefathers evacuated their homes across the sea to begin anew, to worship their God freely, to live
free.
Where is
our country headed?
But that will have to wait.
Back to my review...
The rest of the paragraph from the quote above continues, "Close-knit, supportive families let girls know they were loved and appreciated, making them less desperate for attention and admiration from the outside. Parents provided guidance and wise counsel, to help a girl keep a clear head while appraising situations and evaluating suitors."
I've mentioned before to strongly advise
against reading, watching, etc. the whole genre of Romance, though, I still struggle and am guilty of it. I know it is hard, but this gives us as single ladies the wrong idea of marriage, men, and happily ever after.
Please don't allow yourself to dream of
your Mr. Darcy. No such man exists.
And another thing, Mr. Darcy is bad enough, but especially refrain from wishing for a man like... dare I say it?
Edward Cullen.
EEK!
*screams hysterically and runs out the door*
Seriously.
Here's the ugly truth of the matter: YOU ARE NOT PERFECT. And neither is your future husband (should you be so blessed). So please, get this into your head before you dive head-first into any kind of relationship and expect that certain someone to be everything for you.
"We often have lofty demands for suitors (well, not that lofty - just that they have Jim Elliot's heart, C. S. Lewis' mind, William Wallace's courage, Clark Gable's face, Cary Grant's clothes, Josh Groban's voice...), but we want them to love us just the way we are. So the men we want to marry often really don't exist - and even if they did... well... why would they would to marry us?" (Chap. 12, pgs 213)
If we want a worthy man, we need to become a woman of worth.
"Who can find a capable wife? She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will not lack anything good.
She rewards him with good, not evil, all the days of her life...
Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom and loving instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the activities of her household and is never idle...
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."
(Proverbs 31:10-12, 25-27, 30, HCSB)
This brings me to the last chapter, which speaks on contentment during your single years.
I have also mentioned this before, that your years as a single lady can be the most important of your life. Don't just throw them away wishing for perfect Prince Charming to come over the perfectly colored horizon, with his perfect hair blowing in the wind and rescue the perfect you from the dangers of perpetual boredom.
Make use of every moment. Our model of the Proverbs 31 woman was never idle (Pro. 31:27). She made use of her talents and skills, her home was never dull. Even though she was married, and her husband "sat among the elders" (Pro. 31:23), we can still look to her as an example.
"If we feel like the best years of our lives are being wasted, we should ask ourselves: So who's wasting them?" (Chap. 13, pgs 236)
We are not promised tomorrow (James 4:14). Make the most of each day.
"Some live as though time is to be
passed. The more diligent live as though time is to be
filled. But Christians should know that time must be
redeemed. Twiddling our thumbs patiently as we wait for events to come and go is unacceptable; puttering around 'keeping busy' while we wait for things to happen is only a little better. Paul commanded the church at Ephesus, 'Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,
making the best use of the time, because the days are evil'." (Eph. 5:15-16)(Chap. 13, pgs 237)
